Yah...bad play on words. But seriously, this place is an oven...well, more like a kiln...and a richly overfueled one at that. I find myself looking forward to the "cool" mornings when the scorching midday heat (which leaves me smelling like a worn saddle and tasting my own sweat) eases to a comfortable 27°C. Honest to god, I feel like a Polar Bear that took a wrong turn at Alert and ended up in Cancun. I am way, WAY too well insulated for this kind of climate, and all the high-tech quick drying clothing in the world won't save my fat, sorry ass (though it does dry well overnight in an a/c room). I have discovered that McDonalds may not be great for food, but it sure as hell is great for hanging out to soak up the a/c...just long enough to dry off and stink the place up, of course! I'm not really helping my own situation, though...I really can't keep away from the red-hot Thai spices...its like eating suicide wings when you know damn well your lips will burn off. I swear to God, if you aren't careful with the peppers, your whole plate could go up in flames. But seriously, I don't know how people whom live in a such a desparately hot climate can bring themselves to eat food that verges on thermonuclear. More to that point, I can't understand how the country can have so many people...who would have sex in heat like this? Gross! It would be like having sex back home...but rubbing oneself in bacon fat beforehand...only the bacon fat version would taste better (worth a try?).
I'm also not sure what to make of this Buddha fellow...for such a modest fellow he sure does have his share of golden temples. Catholics take heart; we are not the only ones to waste goldleaf and precious stones on the idolation of our God. Seems like a nice enough fellow, though...I feel a strange connection to him...probably because we're both fat. The only difference being, of course, that people love fat Buddha and people have nightmares about fat Chief. HA HA...oh, so sad but so true. And I can't figure out what the deal is with having to wear long sleeve shirts and pants into the temples, and having to refrain from pointing our toes at the old guy. I was at Wat Pho (Po) yesterday and the reclining Buddha (46 meters in length and about 10 meters high) was practically naked and quite clearly pointing his 3 meter feet at me. HOW RUDE! Today's journey to Wat Arun was far more entertaining...first for having met and spent the afternoon with a "very" cute and chatty 26-year old German, and secondly because the grounds were far less crowded being across the river and all. The Grand Palace was a tough place to get into, as it was playing host the past two days to the funeral ceremonies of the old King's sister, whom apparently died recently. Once inside, though, I was speachless..."Grand" doesn't begin to describe the place. It was 260,000 square meters of plaster, tiny tile and inlaid glass. The famous emerald Buddha in the main temple was only a meter or so high and barely discernable amongst the grandiose statuettes and altar that occupied the 5 or 6 meters below and to each side. If I had only one complaint about the decor, it was that each one of those millions of glass shards seemed to be focusing the daylight straight onto my easy-burn whitey skin.
Tomorrow I head to Siam neighborhood to check out some old teak houses and the ultramodern shopping district with its sky train...a day to relax in the a/c in midafternoon before heading on a daytrip to the River Kwai and Tiger-Monk-Walking-Thingy on Monday. Then, its time to make my way north to Sukhotai and Chang Mai...the arrangements for which have suddenly become much more convenient with the purchase of a cheap GSM phone which I can use on any of my trips worldwide via a SIM card swap. No more searching for change to use in the mostly-inoperable public phones, and at 1 Bhat (about 0.03 cents) per minute, you won't go broke on the long-distance plan.
Cheerio!
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