Denmark - Nice country. Tall women!

Nice. Expensive. VERY flat.

And, thankfully for me, very advanced in terms of transportation technology; I had the kind of experience getting into the city that made me think back to a comment I heard recently - "Oh, you're a travel expert!" - and groan inwardly. I stepped out of the airport onto what I think may be the coolest and most advanced metro train in the world that I have seen (so chic that my first thought stepping on board was "I'll take my martini on the rocks"). My next thought was the realization that I had not printed out the google map my friend had sent to me, showing the walking directions to his apartment (Fabulous). Scratching my head, wondering how I was going to resolve the matter without making a wide detour to find a WiFi hotspot, I saw a notice that seemed to indicate the train had onboard WiFi...woohoo! I'll just boot up, connect, and....damn, need a profile. And...DAMN!...need a Danish postal code. Hmmm, wonder what form that takes? Maybe 5 digits like American? Worth a try...and...Viola! And so it was, by sheerest luck, I found WiFi on the train, lucked out on the first shot in the dark at a postal code, and I'm on my way. Never mind that I must have looked the total retard wandering the streets of Copenhagen's suburbs with my laptop propped up with a copy/paste job of the map open in Word!

For Canadians, spending a little time in the capital fof Denmark might remind them of a visit to Ottawa. As far as cities go, it’s very rich, very clean and very liberal; and, it’s full of very nice, and polite people riding bikes and enjoying the cutting edge in design and transportation technology. As a result, it’s also very sanitized, in that there is little grit that makes so many old cities so much fun…that is, aside from the curiosity that is the unique and ultra-(hip)py community of Christiania. For this reason, I think Copenhagen is a far better place to live, than vacation in.

Strangely, for a country with such a colourful past as the home of the awe-inspiring Viking raiders, there is very little to show for that era – aside from my friend Christian, whom looks very much the Viking in the pre-razor era.

It wasn’t until the 15^th century that the Danes made their presence felt in the areas now comprising Denmark and Scandia (modern-day southern Sweden). Always suspicious of the Swedish kingdom just a handful of miles from Copenhagen, a disastrous campaign in the mid 17^th century spelled the end of Danish dominance and the ascendancy of the French and English power. This turns out to be fortuitous for Canada as, hundreds of years later, we prepare to permanently liberate Hans Island from Danish Tyranny in battle or, more likely, in exchange for a couple of kilos of real bacon for their open-faced sandwiches.

Aside from a few of the prototypical European sights – palaces and castles – Copenhagen is really all about the waterfront and exploring the streets by bicycle (easily done in pancake-flat Copenhagen). The coolest neighbourhood by far is Christiania, a place that is far, far too hip for the likes of me. Hashish sold openly in the streets where young moms push around groceries and young children on the ubiquitous Christiania Bike, and teenagers crowd a local dilapidated warehouse converted to a skate park. A former military base, abandoned post-war, it was taken over by a bunch of squatters whom have resisted eviction for decades; now the site of some of the best under-developed real estate, the viability of the community in the coming years seems to be in question. See it while you can!

Copenhagen is where I spent my 36^th birthday. It was also the 10^th year anniversary, almost to the day, of my first independent travels. How appropriate, then, spend it in the company of my friend Christian (and his lovely girlfriend, Jing) whom I spent time with in Israel and Egypt on that fateful trip. I probably deserve a slap in the head for having a birthday milkshake (the first non-alcoholic birthday beverage since my 18^th birthday, but booze is $$$). We had an interesting night out doing the “Culture Night” visiting some of the city’s cultural centres. The brief symphony sampler was cool, as the new concert hall is a very cool venue. The middle-of-the-night zoo trip was less interesting by far. Those few animals that weren’t asleep were – unsurprisingly – rather hard to see. Penguins excepted. I like penguins. Penguins are hilarious. And (this is the “did you know” moment), they can run as fast as most humans.

After the better part of the week in Copenhagen, the only other stop on the Danish tour was Arhus (‘Orhoos’). Cool Arhus, with its crazy little historic village consisting entirely of old buildings slated for demolition and re-established in a neighbourhood that can take all day to explore. It’s a little like visiting Heritage Park in Calgary except traditional desserts are for the taking and the rooms (example the carpenter’s workshop), look like the occupant has just stepped out for a moment.

Another notable stop was the ARoS museum, which scores points for the most outrageous marble sculpture exhibit I have ever seen, in being both outstanding in the quality of sculpture and the OH-MY-GOD shock factor (see picture, right).

I must admit I didn’t get much into the local cuisine scene. I don’t really get open-faced sandwiches…I mean, *REALLY*, would it kill you to put the other piece of bread on so that its easier to handle? And as for everything else, I didn’t really see anything that stood out as a cultural icon in terms of food, which may explain why we don’t have Danish restaurants in Canada! Hey, Christian, you’ll always have the “Danish” pastry, and that very cool birthday song. Thanks for the great time! Prost!